Last year and this year I have had to come to terms with some of my
religious belief, namely how Women in my (Latter-Day Saint, Mormon religion)
are viewed as equals by the authorities and ecclesiastical members of
the church which are, all Men holding the highest
leadership positions in the Church.
I have always be a questioning person, ie:
-Why does God allow this (tragedy, senseless thing to happen...)
-When will there be the opportunity to be an equal (among men) in God's world,
in God's church?
-Why do we not talk of a Heavenly Mother and worship her?
Why do just men hold the priesthood? (a power from God to act in his name).
I get that God and Heavenly Mother created us in their image and we do have gender specific traits.
What I don't get is.. why through the generations of time, women have been excluded.
I'm not convinced that our Heavenly parents commanded it to be this way.
As I search for answers and have prayed, I have felt peace with
some of the answer and non-answers I have felt spiritually.
If you have read this far in my post, you are probably asking yourself;
"why is she posting this?"
I am posting this because it's therapeutic for me, it is letting you know
that I struggle to know the meaning of life and its complexities.
I have felt peace and inner struggle at the same time in my doubting,
but I would not want to change this, it has opened my eyes
to many things that have not be right with how I view my religious belief's.
This statement below really made me think about my faith and my doubts
It was a talk given to a BYU forum by
Terryl Givens
that gave me hope for my doubt.
We need rethink the relation-ship between doubt
and faith.
In a 2005 BYU Forum ad dress, Terryl Givens defined faith in a
radical new way: as a choice, one made when legitimate evidence supports each
side of possibility.
While some people, Givens believes, are simply born with
faith or a gift for faith, more often faith is an acquired trait.
And “among
those who vigorously pursue the life of the mind in particular, who are
committed to the scholarly pursuit of knowledge and rational inquiry, faith is
as
often a casualty as it is a product.”1
In this setting, life becomes, as
Givens maintains,
a test of our own willful decision to choose faith over
doubt.
As Givens continues:
I am convinced that there must be grounds for doubt as well as
belief,
in order to render the choice more truly a choice, and therefore the
more deliberate, and
laden with personal vulnerability and investment.
The
option to believe must appear on one’s personal horizon like the fruit of
paradise, perched precariously between sets of demands held in dynamic tension.
One is, it would seem, always provided with sufficient materials out of which
to fashion a life of credible conviction or dismissive denial.
We are acted
upon, in other words, by appeals to our personal
values, our yearnings, our
fears, our appetites and our ego.
What we choose to embrace, to be responsive
to, is the purest reflection
of who we are and what we love.
That is why faith,
the choice to believe, is in the final analysis an action
that is positively
laden with moral significance.
Is this a part of life to doubt?